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Create an intimacy wish list

Don't confuse sex with intimacy!

Intimacy is the experience of emotional closeness that happens when two people are able to be emotionally open with one another and reveal their true feelings, thoughts, fears and desires.

Intimacy is a universal need without it we are lonely, a perceived lack of intimacy is one of the most common reasons for relationship breakdowns. We develop intimacy through feelings of trust and attachment.

Being emotionally, mentally or physically intimate with a partner begins with listening to what he or she is saying and paying attention to his or her actions. It sounds simple, but it's not. To properly pay attention, you need to tune everything else out ... from your work stress and to-do list, to your thoughts about what you'd like for dinner. Tune out your personal immediate needs, and then listen. Its not always easy to have discussions about emotions one or both partners may fear losing their sense of independence, however its about balancing the sense of yourself while still being connected to another. Fortunately, intimacy is a skill and as such a can be learned.

We often confuse sex with intimacy these are not the same thing - sex without intimacy can be very unrewarding just as sex with intimacy can be deeply passionate and fulfilling. It’s also possible to experience intimacy without sex.

While intimacy isn’t all about sex, enjoying each other physically assists in developing your relationship to a point where sex is an expression of your intimacy. While true intimacy is an in depth experience of each other and takes time, building intimacy should also be made up of a sense of fun, play, nonsexual touching and showing each other you care.

If you want a thriving relationship, building intimacy needs to be a priority all year long. ‘A good way to start improving the intimacy in your relationship is to create an intimacy wish list’. Says Patti Brisben founder and chairwoman of Pure Romance intimacy aids, ‘think about all the things you would like to discuss and experience with your partner. Here are some fun ideas for doing so…’

  1. Plan a date night - have a relaxing evening leave all the usual subjects behind and rediscover each other get a conversation going with a game like Date Night R200, a card game for two that helps you and your partner tap into your most intimate desires.
  2. Profess your love - give a naughty gift like redeemable vouchers of sexy favours you’ll do for your partner.
  3. Take a bath together - a long candle lit bubble bath followed by some sexy massage is a great way to have intimate time together, try Pure Romance fabulous soy candle - Burning Desire R260. You can enjoy the sexy flicker of candlelight as well as the oil from the melted wax especially created with a sensual fragrance for massage.
  4. Kiss and cuddle – instead of zoning out in front of the TV or computer sit together put on some music and enjoy each other’s company. Do something silly like dusting each other up with Dust Me Pink R185, a delicious sweet powder created to be smooched off!
  5. Keep it alive – developing a wish list is an ongoing process, it will need to be adjusted as your needs and attitudes change, be patient, willing and open minded and keep talking to your loved one.

For more info visit or contact Pure Romance Head Office 011 465 4051; This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it

Pure Romance celebrates the journey of sexuality and empowerment with a range of intimacy, bedroom accessories, lubricants, sexual health information and the importance of communication in and out of the bedroom.