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Three sex games to regain your oomph

You aren’t yet “cold”, but the days when youthfull drive ensured an exciting sex life, is gone. You want to put back the oomph into your sex life, but it’s like you have forgotten how. It’s time to start playing. INTIMACY4US has a few clever/cute ideas that will bring back some recklessness to your bedroom.

1.    Read stuff that puts you in the mood . . .
Take on an expedition – to your nearest bookshop. Look in the Mills & Boons section until you find one that looks interesting. There are different series with different grades of naughtiness. The Modern series is suggested and there are translations of these books in Afrikaans available. (If you feel too self-conscious for such an outing, order a romance novel online.)

The idea is to lie in each other’s arms while reading from the book out loud. Giggle at appropriate moments, but try to really get into the story. These books are meant to physically and emotionally excite you. Kiss each other whenever the hero and heroine kiss each other and grab each other with the desire of two teenagers when the main characters do it. Romance novel writers are very imaginative and you may learn tricks you would’ve never thought of yourselves. Just think: Your husband can suddenly become muscular with a square jaw, or your wife can become this virgin princess that needs to be rescued from a cruel sea captain.

The more conservative books – wherein sex is just suggestive – actually works better as you both then need to create your own sex scenes, and give your imagination free reign. It is great fun to be the hero or heroine of your “own” love story. And it’s magical to experience how a sea captain’s fictional, rough manhood, becomes a real, touchable penis – and to feel how your breasts swell beneath his rugged hands.

2.    So-called innocence
An outing to the movies is just the thing, especially if you have become used to DVD’s and television and haven’t gone for a movie in a long time. A drive-in, (the one’s where some of us were conceived) would be ideal, but where does one find a drive-in lately?

For the woman: Dress-up nicely, just like the old days when people still dressed-up to go see a movie. Let your husband drive around the block twice alone before he knocks on the front door and formally announces himself. Reinforce how your father will throttle him if he doesn’t have you home by ten. Then lovingly look at him and allow him to escort you, arm-in-arm, to his car. Say something silly, like: “It’s really nice to have a boyfriend with a car,” and stare admiringly at him.

Sit in the back-row at the movies and look in a rebuking manner at your husband when he carefully puts his arm around you, but allow him to French kiss you at will. Look shocked when he tries to touch your breast, but allow him to put his hand very, very high-up under your mini dress.

The highlight of the evening will be when he decides that you will drive around before he takes you home, even though you protest that your father will throttle him. The idea is that your husband stops somewhere in the dark (ideally close to the beach, if you live at the coast), and he pulls you towards the car’s backseat. Such a backseat can offer a lovely hustle and wrestle, but remember: You are so-called clumsy and inexperienced and don’t quite know how the whole sex thing works.

When your husband’s pants are down to his knees, gasp out loud and say something along the lines of: “I didn’t know it would be so big . . . it will never fit!” For effect, your considerate husband takes a condom out of his pocket – you don’t want to fall pregnant at the start of your youth, after all – and he asks you to help put the thing on. Pretend as if penetration is somewhat sore, as it ought to be the “first time”. The sex itself must be somewhat rushed, but passionate and hot and wild. Like it was the last time.

Try to really feel guilty when you drive home later. Sex is more exciting with some feelings of guilt.

3.    Naughty flirtation
Nothing will quite ignite the smouldering flames of your marriage like that of a nice flirtation, or fling! A flirtation is temporary and short-lived. Many married couple’s sex lives become unexciting because they know they have their whole lives together to have sex. Why make any effort with tonight’s bedroom pleasures if there will be another one and another shortly thereafter.

As with all games, you will need your imagination. Squeeze your budget a little-tighter and go away for a weekend or long weekend. A cheap hotel by the sea is ideal, but a wooden hut in the mountains is also fine. Try to arrive there separately. Pretend like you don’t know each other at all and try hard to make a good first impression. For the purposes of this game we believe in love at first sight after you “accidentally” walked into each other. Remember: Time is limited.

Admit to each other that you are defenceless against the spontaneous magnetism between the two of you from the very first moment you laid eyes on each other, but because of circumstances, there will never be more than just infatuation between you and that after this weekend, you most likely won’t ever see each other again. Go eat an ice-cream and immediately jump in the sack together. Fireworks are guaranteed: You will ravage each other because you know “you only have this one weekend together”. If you try very hard to believe that you won’t see each other again after this weekend, you will embrace every moment available to you.