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Making time for sex

If weeks are going by without some quality time in the bedroom, it’s time to take action . . . figuratively speaking here. It’s one thing to say: “Schedule sex”, and it’s something entirely different to actually carry it out. We share everything you need to know about planning some quality time for sex . . .

Let’s be realistic: Life happens. And in many couple’s lives there is only time for sex once the children have been bathed and put to bed, once Grey’s Anatomy is over, if your next door neighbours haven’t decided to make an unexpected visit . . . again, when you have finished browsing through your growing list of emails, if one of you doesn’t have a cold, if you don’t need to be up at the crack of dawn the following day, if you aren’t angry or upset with one another, if both of you are capable of staying awake and happen to be in the mood . . .

But isn’t scheduled or planned sex a bit of a passion killer?

The biggest complaint couples have regarding scheduled sex is their belief that planning ruins all spontaneity . . . and where is the fun in that? Wrong! Think back to when you were a newlywed and you still planned romantic evenings . . . you got dolled-up, shaved your legs, washed your hair and slipped into that most sexy little number. Your brain released hormones which prepared you for sex by simply thinking about it. Why? Because of something called erotic expectation!

Here are the rules:

1. Schedule sex for one day – every week at the same time. Make it a non-negotiable and something you look forward to. Write it down on your calendars and sync it with your mobile phones.
2. Remember that sex should by no means be limited to these days only. If the mood hits you on another day, then go for it!
3. Don’t choose a day that either of you may have to cancel.
4. Be fully committed to this day. It is a commitment that you make and one that will give your marriage a boost. Make a promise that you will stick to this agreement.
5. Within the upcoming week you have to action your first sex-date. Remind your partner beforehand that you cannot wait and build some expectation and excitement. Leave notes for each other, send naughty SMSs and try to transform your room to suit the mood.
6. Relook your dates after a month has passed. Talk about them. Was it successful? Did the dates and times work well? Do you want to consider an extra sex-date a week?
7. As soon as you have mastered the sex-dates, you can start to consider an intimate romantic getaway weekend every two months.

Planning doesn’t have to be boring. The degree of excitement in the bedroom is by no means dependent on a diary entry, but rather on how spicy you are prepared to make that one special day each week. Make an effort and before you know it, one evening per week will no longer be enough . . .

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Article by Annelize Steyn