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Sex toys: What the experts say . . .

Elmari Craig, sexologist and marriage counsellor, gives the following advice:

“Some men are uncomfortable with toys simply because they don’t have the right or enough information about them. As with many other sexual matters, there are still many myths about toys. Two of these that create a problem for men include that the vibrator will ‘show up’ their performance in bed, or that she’ll become addicted to the vibrator and that it will replace him because she would rather find fulfilment from the apparatus than a real Adam. I believe that it’s cardinally important for coupes to communicate about this, and talk about possible fears and uncertainties. Research the topic together. Look at what’s available on the internet, how it’s used and your preferences and dislikes. Start out by trying a toy you both feel comfortable with, and then build on that.

“See sexual aids as something you use from time to time to vary your lovemaking routine and prevent predictability. See them as something you use together. Remember, lubricant and vibrators can be just as stimulating for men. These days, there are new generation vibrators on the market such as the We-Vibe which can be placed in the women’s genitals while penetration is taking place so that it offers both the women and man extra stimulation. The most important part of lovemaking remains deep soul-to-soul communication with your mate, together with the sexual fulfilment and pleasure you both experience. Do what feels right for both of you.”