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From O to O!

Yes, you CAN have an earth shaking ‘Yeehaa!’ orgasm from cunnilingus. And no, this is not one of those French names for some kind of sea creature on your plate . . .

Many women have already discovered the pleasure of oral sex and just lie back and enjoy it whenever the opportunity arises. Other women cringe at the mere thought of a man’s shoulders between her knees. Unfortunately, this can severely hamper your chances of proper enjoyment – not to mention your chances of achieving an orgasm! If you are one of these women, try to change your mind-set and give yourself over to the pleasures of oral sex. Ensure that you go for a Brazilian wax beforehand and have a shower before your hubby gets home. Send him a naughty SMS and invite him to explore your naughty parts with his mouth . . . (you can place a tube of flavoured lubrication on his bedside table for extra pleasure!)

Here are the top 20 tips on how to enjoy an orgasm through oral sex:

  1. Bet with him! For example, say to him: “I bet you won’t be able to give me an orgasm by using your mouth,” says Riëtte Rust in her book, Die Aa tot Oe van Seks (Tafelberg Uitgewers). It is in every men’s nature to be competitive and he will certainly try and prove you wrong!
  2. Give him some guidance. Laura Berman, Sex and Relationship Therapist, advises women to “help” their partners. Make sounds if you like what he is doing and tilt your hips to guide him to your pleasure spots!
  3. Tell him what you want! Sometimes sounds and movements aren’t enough and you will have to use words to tell your hubby what you want. Say: “A bit more pressure” or “Faster!” if it’s necessary. You can also get more graphic and in this manner incorporate dirty ideas!
  4. Create the correct atmosphere. Get to know what works for you. If you climax easier with satin bedding and lit candles in the background, recreate the scene when you have oral sex so that the atmosphere can lend itself towards a fantastic orgasm! Clare Cavanah, who educates couples on sex, advises this strongly.
  5. Make ice part of the game. Ask your hubby to place an ice-block in his mouth and to play with it around your clitoris and vaginal opening. Experts are of the opinion that the contrast between his warm mouth and the cold ice-block provides a wonderful sensation!
  6. Manipulate your “taste”. If you are worried about how you will taste for your hubby, look at what you eat during the day. Apparently, pineapples can make you taste very nice. So too watermelon and celery!
  7. Take part in the action. Use your fingers to stimulate your clitoris yourself while he is busy somewhere else or to show him how you like it. Not only do you get the opportunity to do what feels good for you, but you also give your hubby a view that is a turn-on for most men!
  8. Ask him to get handy. Some women like the combination of hubby’s tongue and fingers. While he stimulates your clitoris with his tongue, he can use his fingers in and around your vaginal opening.
  9. Let him write the ABC. Literally. By writing the alphabet with his tongue while giving you oral sex, results in different sensations that can only provide you with pleasure. The ABC has never been so sexy!
  10. Ensure that you are both comfortable. Oral sex can get very uncomfortable – so bring the pillows nearer and get creative with positions so that you are both comfortable enough not to rush through things – good cunnilingus requires time!
  11. Ask him to experiment . . . but to stop as soon as he has hit the right spot! For him and you to discover what really works, you have to swop between licking, sucking, fast and slow movements, until you experience what really feels good. Here are a few techniques:
    a.    He can make small circles in the form of an eight around your clitoris with his tongue. The movements must be slow, the rhythm constant and the pressure as light as a feather.
    b.    He can make flick movements over your clitoris to-and-fro, unless it is sensitive (the clitoris has 6 000 nerve endings!), where after he must rather go back to the circle movements. After about eight minutes of doing this, he can maybe place one or two fingers in your vagina and start to stimulate your G-Spot.
    c.    Maybe you need more direct stimulation on the clitoris. If this is the case, he can lick your clitoris sideways, creating mild strokes with his tongue. He must stick to a constant rhythm, that will allow you to ‘keep up with him’ in your head.
    d.    He can start at the top point of your clitoris and work his way downwards with his tongue by licking until he reaches the bottom part of your labia, and then move up again in the same line. He must still stick to the same rhythm, but the pressure must increase until you climax.
  12. The golden rule, and with this one your hubby will need your help, as soon as he uses a rhythm or pressure that works for you, don’t change it, ask him to keep going!
  13. Hood on or hood off? Most women prefer it when their clitoris is stimulated through the clitoral skin – this is the ‘hood’ that covers the very sensitive fold of the clitoris. You may however be one of those women that would rather have the clitoral skin pulled back.
  14. Ask him to hummm. In the same way that it works when you make noises while giving him oral sex, it can also work for you. It’s not so much to do with the sounds but rather the vibration of his lips on your sensitive parts!
  15. A flat tongue does the trick. Some women are super-sensitive to a tongue that has a tip like a word! Ask him to flatten his tongue, and to make broad strokes.
  16. Touch yourself. If your hubby is in the southern regions and you feel the big “O” coming on, you can contribute to the sensation by sensually touching or stroking yourself. Rub your breasts and stimulate your nipples – this will provide hubby with loads of pleasure to see you doing this! For example, sit on a chair, with your legs pulled up, and see what happens.
  17. Change position. Just like sex feels different in different positions, so too oral sex provides different sensations in different positions.
  18. Don’t forget the number 69 position! If you want to spoil your hubby while he is busy with oral sex, reposition yourself in the number 69 position (so that you both have access to each other’s genitals using your mouths).
  19. Don’t feel guilty. Oral sex and quickies don’t belong in the same sentence. Make sure that you have enough time when hubby decides to stimulate you orally. He must also know that it is a lengthy process for most women.
  20. Incorporate other tools. Even if your hubby has the patience of Job, oral sex may still not do it for you unlike penetration does. If you realise that he is on “a roadshow that is going nowhere,” and you get bored, rather take it to the next step and ask him to penetrate you.

Oral sex can be fantastic! Don’t let issues from your past, for example, “hands off” and several other preconceived ideas deprive you of this pleasure. Most men also love giving oral sex. So, get down and dirty and learn how to give, receive and enjoy oral sex!

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