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20May2019

Intimacy4us

Spoil your hubby


Yes, we know a stubble beard and calluses on hands is his thing. He’s a man of steel and is not afraid of anything. But...

... He’s actually just a great big teddy bear that loves to lie with you on the bed and needs TLC every now and again. Believe it or not, but men enjoy being spoilt by their wives. Think a bit, how long ago you did you do something like that for him (cook food, put his clothes on the bed, make coffee and a favour with your hands doesn’t count – even though we know he would disagree.)

Everyone has a need for pampering and to feel needed. A man sometimes has the need to be pampered. Why? Because he doesn’t know how to do it for himself. When you are functioning on your last reserves, you book yourself a massage (when you have the time!) You go and sit down with a cup of tea and a book; you drink your multivitamin and watch Brothers and Sisters.

What does hubby do to blow off steam? He arranges a guy’s night out with far too much alcohol, red meat, too much competition and some or other dumb trick he saw in a movie like, Jackass. What does he have to show for it the next day? He has the overwhelming trap of a hangover and lots, and lots of pain. Not that it isn’t his own fault. Most men don’t have the sense of responsibility like women do and also not a built in awareness that tells him: “It’s now time to take things easy and not to pretend you are still 20!” Show him how he should do it and that you really love him. Here’s how to spoil hubby:

Pamper his hands and feet
Yes, we know his in-grown toenail is not really a turn on for you, but stand firm, sister! Suck it up! Get a cloth, soap and baby oil and give him about 30 mins of your undivided attention. Remember it must never sound like a task. Go and sit at his feet when he’s watching the news and give him a reflexology treatment like he‘s never had before (it doesn’t matter what you do, it’ll feel good). Remember unless he’s a metro man he has never been to a reflexologist before, so he has nobody to compare you to! Do the same with his hands. Few things are a sexy as big, strong hands that look good.

Intercept the account
We ladies are all guilty! We like to be modern women who help to put food on the table, but when it comes to restaurant bills, we sit back and turn to look at the other women etc when it comes to paying. He’s the man, he must pay! Naturally he’s not going to want to do it if he expects it from you, and he likes to feel like the man of the house by taking out his wallet, but if he always pays, stick him for a change!

Give him space
We know this is difficult to comprehend. What is a punishment for you is a pleasure for him! When hubby withdraws and goes to his study, you immediately think: “What’s going on? What’s wrong? Why is he withdrawing?” and a million other things. When you step back, hubby’s first and only thought is:”Peace...” Rare but true. Don’t let it affect your ego. Men always complain that they lose their freedom when they get married. So, if you really want to spoil him, give him some space by letting him go on that fishing trip or to finish building that thing in the garage.

Spoil him with verbal gifts
The things we’re talking about are things that build him up: Acknowledgement for things done well – blow it out of proportion in front of other people (he will thank you). Admiration – Make him feel as if he still makes your heart beat faster. Many men also have bad hair days! And respect – let him feel like the head of the home (even though we know who the neck is that turns that head!)

Surprise him with a bath and massage
If you know he has had a rough day, run him a hot bath, light a candle and play his favourite music (even if it is Metallica!) As soon as you know he has had time to relax, wash every part of his body. Massage his head, neck and arms in the bath. Before he gets out, bring him a large towel that you have warmed up in the tumble dryer. Take him to the room and let him lie on the bed for a full body massage with scented oils. Let him lie on his stomach and begin with his head, face and ears before you move to his neck, shoulders, back and arms. Massage every part of his body – his fingers and toes too. Now you can let him turn over – be warned that your clothes are going to go soon too!

Appreciate an action film
If you are one of those women (and most are) that are always ready for a good drama, art film or chick flick, but grind your teeth at thought of anything including Jean-Claude van Damme, Arnold Schwarzenegger or Clint Eastwood? Surprise him and take out a movie real action film for you two to watch. One that you know you’re not going to enjoy at all, but will make him feel like a cowboy or terminator. Make sure you have enough popcorn to full a huge bowl, put the children in bed early and – here is the catch – enjoy the movie with him. Too much asked? Definitely! But sometimes a man just wants a friend to appreciate things with him. It’s sometimes a disappointment for him if you can’t see what he’s so excited about! So, prepare yourself emotionally, pretend to be crazy about his action movie and the biggest challenge – stay awake till the credits show!

Written by ANNELIZE STEYN
Additional sources: ehow.com; hubpages.com; homelyfamily.com; associatedcontent.com