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Show her you love her

Actions speak louder than words. This is also true for relationships. You tell your wife you love her, but does she feel it?

When we open our eyes in the morning, we’re already late for what the day might bring... and tonight when we come home we are tired. The little things like physical contact fall by the wayside. But are those tight hugs, kisses on the cheek, and rubs on the back really so important? You had sex last night right?

Stop, and read this! Research at the University of Miami’s Institute for Touch research have found that touch with medium strength stimulates the cranial nerves. Your heart beat slows and your blood pressure drops. It results in you feeling more relaxed, and more observant. The stress hormone is decreased. Studies that have looked at the effects of touch, found that students fair better with Maths questions, and that premature babies chances of survival improve drastically.

But what does this have to do with your relationship with your wife? Everything!
That arm around her shoulders while she is talking lets her body release oxytocin. It’s also known as the hug hormone. It creates a sensation of trust and lowers the stress hormone Cortisol. Women, who are stressed, are desperate for this kind of positive touch to help them to lower their stress levels. As soon as their stress levels drop, then the part of the brain controlling their emotions can relax and focus on problem solving. So, give her that hug, and watch your wife change from emotional and unhappy to a happy, friendly Eve that thinks her husband is the best thing on two legs.

Women, who are also mothers, fulfil their emotional need for touch with positive physical contact with their children. Ensure that you don’t miss out on that – you can benefit just as much! (Those same eager researchers, also observed the American basketball players and found the most successful teams were those who had the most physical contact, for example high 5’s and a slap on the back. The lesson for you as head of the home is? A team with a strong physical bond is a team that is going to win!)

But let’s get back to your marriage. Here are a few ideas to keep your wife’s love tank full:

  • Set your alarm for 10 minutes earlier and spoon together in bed and talk about the day ahead. Try not to get ideas every time because 10 minutes is so short!
  • Give her a longer kiss than usual before you leave for work.
  • Put your hands on her hips while she is working in the kitchen and kiss her neck.
  • When you sit together in front of the television, pull her closer. Put your arm around her shoulders or play with her hair.
  • If she is tired or stressed, rub her shoulders and neck.
  • Touch her arm while you are talking to her.
  • If you are getting ready for work in the morning, let her sit and then you comb her hair.
  • Put your arm around her – in front of other people!
  • Whisper sweet nothings in her ear.
  • Show her that you accept her just the way she is. Regularly plant a kiss on those areas of her body that she is so self conscious about.